"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
