Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
