It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
