Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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