Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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