i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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