My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
