he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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