so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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