so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
