if i died would you start the facebook group?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
