So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
40s are totally the cure
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize