please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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