Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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