I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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