no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
