my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
