Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
