My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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