And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
