what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize