can u get pink eye on your cock?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
