Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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