And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
