I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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