I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
