i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
