found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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