I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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