and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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