Your dad touched me again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
