I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
