just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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