you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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