what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
