he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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