No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
