He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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