I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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