I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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