I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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