Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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