I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
