I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
