i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just google imaged poop.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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