i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
