There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
