There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
