Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We just shotgunned beers for America
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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