Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
