so explain again why im purple
no
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
