is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
