Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You've changed since you got that strap on
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
