If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
