i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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