i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
