i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
