i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
